I thought this would be an epic way to express my thoughts consistently but turns out I'm updating it at best once a month. Oh well, only the unexpected is expected in life.
Just had a mini-revelation...the breakup has still been bothering me. It's been over a year. Had good times and bad times. Most people hate being wrong. I'm no different. Some people will never admit it and will argue to the death. However, I'm more accepting and understanding trying to understand from the other person's perspective. It's not always black and white so if you allow yourself to open up, you won't be as single-tracked. I've learned from JFK that it's OK to be wrong and a responsible person would admit to it. This brings me back to point...the breakup to me is signifying my 3 years with her is one big mistake. Not saying the whole experience is a mistake as we learned about ourselves and being in a meaningful relationship...it's when I reflect on how much I loved her and at the time that was reciprocated, by breaking up for good, all that seemed foolish. The worst part is that I don't have the opportunity to rebut. She decided it for the both of us. I'm sure a lot of thought went into it but eventually she did what she thought was the best for her...I had no choice. Now every time I think about how happy I was, it's followed by one of 2 general emotions - regret and bitterness. Regret that I let the chance let slip this relationship...I miss her dearly. Bitter that it ended the way...she's happy with that POS and I'm miserable by myself. Anyone who knows enough of the story knows it's fucked up. Yet if I ever had the chance to be together with her, I don't know what I'll decide. Maybe it's better I never have to make that decision...the heart and mind will never come into agreement.
